Peace on Earth

Being that I am a teacher, I can honestly say that I have been forced to think about this tragic Newtown, Connecticut scenario many times in my short years. We practice what to do if a shooter comes into our schools. We lockdown. We teach the children not to scream even if they hear gun shots in the next room over. As teachers, we pray that this terrible event never happens to us, our school, our town. And we promise ourselves that we will stand brave and protect our students with our own lives, should it become necessary.

As this incredible tragedy unfolds and we learn more about what happened in that school building, my heart and prayers go out to the victims, the parents, the police, and the entire town that is now trying to rebuild and recover. To the teachers that held and soothed their students during the attack; who calmly read aloud to their kids with gun shots the accompaniment, the men and women first responders whose lives have forever been changed, and the young, brave, innocent children.... I pray that your hearts find some peace over the coming weeks.

You just pick your head up and stare at something beautiful..."

"But remember that you have to move on, somehow. You just pick your head up and stare at something beautiful like the sky, or the ocean, and you move the hell on." -James Patterson

Welp, parent/teacher conferences are over. I'm pleased with the results of the meetings. Also, that horrible Halloween week is over! We survived, thank God! I can't tell you how challenging having twenty already hyper third graders full of sugar for the week! Well, it's over now and I have to say that this weekend was much needed.

 Emma ready after Halloween in my classroom. She was exhausted!

I've had a great time this year. My favorite part of the job, which I have mentioned before, is the crazy things that kids say and do. Especially when they are being completely serious. Just when I think my day is going down the toilet, one of the kids says something that just cracks me up and I realize that I love my job. It's difficult at times. I feel like I am constantly under the microscope, but it is also SO rewarding. I'm really getting attached to the kids and I feel like they are really enjoying school too.

The hardest part about this year is that I don't have a social life. I don't have that network of supportive friends like I did up north. I still have my days where I get very "homesick." I'm working on it. I'm really trying to enjoy my time here and live in the moment. Unfortunately, a lot of those moments are inside the school. I need to get out more. However, when I'm out and about I feel bad about not getting lessons together for school or homework graded. There is always something that has to be done and it's a challenge for me to just leave work at work. I'm working on it.

With that being said, I have work to get to! Rubrics to make! and also laundry....

xoxo

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

I know I have been inactive for a while now but I have been so busy. I moved from Alaska to Missouri, moved from my parents into an apartment and moved into a classroom all within about a two week period. It was exhausting. Now, I'm settled in and life is rolling right along. I have my dog back, Emma. She seems very content in her new living environment:

So anyways, my classroom is up and running smoothly. I have already had a few students move into town, into the classroom and then out again. I knew that this school district was like that but I didn't realize how hard it is from the teacher's point of view. Another thing I didn't realize was how hard it is to deal with parents. I feel like some of them wouldn't like me even if I was the best teacher in America, simply because they don't know me. There really is no sense in trying. I go to work every day and I try my hardest to teach the students all the things they need to know and then some. I try my hardest to keep them safe from each other and from themselves. I try my hardest to keep them happy and laughing so long as they are following the rules. AND I try my hardest to help shape them into good people. I have found that the worst part about teaching is that people just don't understand the job. They don't realize how difficult the task is. All they see is that we are "paid to take the summers off." Really people, use your head. That's not the case at all. Actually, the money I'm paid to teach your child (and we all know how little that is) from August until May is simply split over twelve months. This way, teachers don't have to plan money for seven months in the future. Another thing people don't understand about teaching is that the field of education is constantly changing. Your child will not be learning in the same way that you learned. This is NOT a need to criticize the teacher or become hostile. Feel free to ask questions with genuine interest about your child's education. However, try not to pass judgment. People probably thought the way you were being taught was terrible when you were a child.

The most annoying thing about being in this field is the fact that everyone dogs on America's Failing Public School System. I just want to clear up a few things. The majority of teachers and schools are not the problem here. I cannot point out a single teacher in school who isn't giving 100% or who doesn't show up early or leave late. I know I'm at school everyday early and leave late (time that I'm not being paid for) as well as taking papers home to grade and lesson planning at home (also not being paid for). I do these things because, probably just like you, I want to be good at my job. I want to make a difference. I think that the major problem our educational system has is the fact that the community doesn't back the schools. I'm speaking in general, of course. Parents have to make their kids do homework. Not only that, but parents have to help their kids work on other assignments at home, such as multiplication facts. I would love to see a study showing the amount of TV and video games children are exposed to every week and the correlation between that and grades. Your TV is not a babysitter. Come and teach my class for a week. Come and see what teachers all across America see everyday and then you will better understand.

It's very disheartening. To work so hard and see such negativity towards your field is crushing. I don't mean to write this to offend anyone. I'm simply unhappy and embarrassed by what I have noticed in communities across the US. Today I voiced my opinion on something and I was laughed at. "You're such a new teacher. Full of excitement. Wanting to change the world." How condescending. You would be appalled if I said "You're such an old teacher. Half your body already in the ground. Dull and stagnant." So what if I want to be good at my job, if I want to make a difference and if I am actually excited about my future. If you aren't maybe it's time for you to leave and find something new to do. Don't rain on my parade.

When frustration sets in, I like to think about a few things. Firstly, I love my class. I love the students. They are so innocent and hardworking. They want to impress me and their fellow classmates. They want to be good people. (When I see these hardworking students get defeated because of their parents then I get upset.) I love my classroom setup right now. I've been thinking of changing it but it is working well. I love the things that come out of the students' mouths. For example, one girl asked if we could do "arts and craps" one day. HA! I about died. They get grossed out by the littlest things, like a boy kissing a girl on the cheek in our read aloud book. They confuse words like Bra and Brawl...or Precipitation and Percussion. While outside one day for a short lesson the temperature dropped and it started to rain. The class clung together, wrapped their arms around each other, and shivered with smiles on their faces. Being that I had just moved from Alaska, I didn't realize how cold it seemed to them. Overall, I love my job. I love almost everything about it. Do I get run down? Or course. It's impossible not to when you throw yourself into something. But my hope is that it will get easier. Even if the attitudes don't change, I hope that it will become more bearable the older I get. AND I hope I NEVER lose my will to fight and my want to make a difference!

Find the good in goodbye.

It looks like I’m down to the wire here. I have one week and some change before I board my plane back to the Midwest. I have to admit that I’m excited for a bit of summer weather. God knows we haven’t had much of it this year in Juneau. However, I know I will miss this place so very much I can’t put it into words. I have to keep telling myself that I am coming back next summer. Whether it is true or not, whether I will be able to afford to or not, I have to tell myself that I am. Otherwise, it would be too devastating to leave. Juneau is funny like that. I remember being told by someone when I first moved here that Juneau is like a black hole. It sucks you in and people never can seem to leave for good. I guess I’m finding that to be true.

Moving on, I’ve started to transition by packing and shipping all my books to my parents’ house. I have also shipped a box of games and other classroom stuff. I’ve sold my car and my longboard. I have a large tub to store things in that I will need next summer and that tub will be kept at work in the storage area. That takes a lot off my mind. Now I’m not quite as worried because I am leaving my tv, dvd player, dishes, towels, comforter, and other random things in the tub for when I return. Just today I went to get fingerprinted for my background check through Missouri. I’m still waiting for my AK certification but my classmates are starting to get theirs so I’m hopeful. All day I have been importing my CDs into Itunes so I don’t have to lug around the CDs anymore. Tomorrow I’m packing up everything I don’t see myself needing until I get back to MO. Needless to say, the planning and packing is moving right along smoothly. 

In the meantime, I’m trying to enjoy what remaining time I have left here. I am so blessed to have spent as much time here as I have and done some amazing things. Four years ago, while packing to move to Alaska, I would never have imagined that I would have been able to sit on top of some of these mountains, to play basketball with native kids above the arctic circle, to swim with sharks and sting rays in the Caribbean, or to fly in helicopters to the ice field. I have had such a great time here and I’ve learned so much about myself!  

 (Tracy's Arm-Juneau AK)

 (Seals caught in White Mountain, AK)

(Mountain Tops-Juneau, AK)

 (Era Helicopters-Juneau, Alaska)

 (Sting Rays- British Virgin Islands)

 (St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands)

While I know this is short and to the point, I have nothing more to say but thanks. Thanks to whatever God or fate or Karma gave me the last four years. Thanks for the hard times that made me cherish the good times. And thanks to all the amazing and inspiring people I have met along the way. I've been truly blessed! I guess that's one awesome chapter concluded. I’m excited to see what the next chapter brings!

"I Hate To Break It To You Babe, But I'm Not Drowning."

What an eventful past month. Anyone who has followed this blog knows that I am always lacking in time and energy during the summer. Because I only work, eat and sleep, I really don’t have time to keep the blog up and going regularly. With that said, I have to say that this summer has been nice. Besides the constant rain, the summer has been moving along rather swiftly.

As I said, I’ve been working a good deal. I’ve had a few 60 hour work weeks and have never had less than 45 hours a week. It’s good for me to keep busy and good for the bank account. I’m very lucky to have a job that I enjoy and can put in a lot of hours at. I’m also very lucky that the majority of people I work with are pretty dang awesome.

Right after graduating I was very nervous about finding a job or even landing interviews. I was beginning to think that I had missed my opportunity at a job for this next school year but then I was hired on in my hometown, home school district. So yay, I have a job. I will be teaching 3^rd grade and I’m a little nervous about the age but I’m also very excited.

Now, the hard part. Moving.

I don’t think people realize, and I myself hadn’t really thought about it, but I have been in Juneau since 2009. Come January I would have been here four years. Wow. I’m not really sure how I came to this point in my life where I am an adult and am independent and am enjoying life, but I certainly am not willing to lose that. Now, I’m moving back to my hometown, a place that I swore I would never live in again. I’m excited to live close to my family again but I’m not thrilled that my family is located in Missouri…the good old bible pounding…biased…sometimes racist…and totally close minded Midwest.

Don’t get me wrong, not all the people there are that way. But man, are the people different here in Alaska.

It’s also hard to think of packing up my entire life and moving it. Since I am no longer driving across the US, I am selling my car and that makes things more difficult. I have accumulated so much stuff. I mean…what am I going to do with my TV and DVD player? What about my longboard, and all the clothes and shoes. I’m exhausted thinking about it. I have already shipped eight boxes of books back to Missouri. I guess I'll figure the rest out eventually.

Let the fun begin.

The sun will come out tomorrow.

AH! It’s been too long. See this is what happens when summer comes. I start working and forget about everything except sleep and money. Haha. Anyways, I graduated May 6^th with my degree in Elementary Education. I should have posted something right away but I was just overwhelmingly busy. My family came to visit and despite the crossed fingers, it rained every day they were here. We didn’t let it deter us and still got around to see the major sites. I was even able to get my mom and Kinsey up on a helicopter flight. They seemed to enjoy it. 

Since graduation I have been submitting resumes and applications like crazy. I think I have applied to every school district in Georgia as well as places in Indiana and Illinois. I don’t want to move back to Missouri but I would like to be within one short flight. Unfortunately, I’m not hearing too much back from anyone. I may end up jobless and homeless come September.

Otherwise, things are going good. Summer work at Era is well underway and the days are getting longer and busier by the minute. I’m able to pay the bills and still put away some money into savings and that is all that matters right now. With every new season comes new employees and eventually new friendships. It’s a great job to have from year to year because faces are always changing and new and interesting people are always being hired. Every years is a new dynamic. This year, I’m thinking that I really like how the summer is starting out.

Overall, I’m doing well, keeping busy, and trying to get enough sleep. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I hear back from one of these schools soon. Until then, I’m saving my money and making new friends. Life is good.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” -Mae West

 (Military health class results in each kid getting scrub caps)

Today is my final day in White Mountain. It’s been a long but easy week. Originally, I was having some major allergy issues causing my eyes to swell up. Luckily, the military people who are here have several nurse practitioners and doctors with them. One wrote me a prescription for Claritin, which basically meant handing me free pills with my name on them. It’s really helped though.

The worst part about the trip has been my sore body. See, the military people who have been occupying the gym got bored several nights ago and decided to start up some volleyball. While passing the gym, one Army woman came out and asked me to play. You know I can’t resist a good volleyball match. We were the only two girls that first night and we split between the teams. After it became apparent that I had played before, the guys decided I was their secret weapon and named me The Laser. I then became target of the opposing team. I haven’t played volleyball in a long while and my body certainly felt it the following day. It didn’t help that I didn’t pack tennis shoes so I was playing in my bare feet. Talk about blisters and bruises. My feet were pretty sore. BUT  knowing that the boredom of another night reading was worse than the pain of playing volleyball, I decided to play the next night too. This time, more military had showed up at the school and we had six on six going. It was a blast and a great killer of time. Sadly, my arms and legs are badly bruised. I don’t think I have ever played with such muscular people. My arms are practically green from my elbow down. I guess I can’t complain. A few other ladies came up to me and showed me their arms. They said their bruises were from MY serves! Lol. I have to admit, it was pretty fun watching the muscular men cringe every time they had to return a serve of mine. Ha!

As you can see, volleyball was a nice surprise that kept me entertained. Meeting some new people was nice too! Another thing that I have been doing is helping with the village youth basketball league. Originally, the coach didn’t want to let me into his practice. Being that the practice was in the school gym (the school being my home here) I didn’t give him much choice. His response was to assign me what he openly calls his “problem children.” Wow. I can’t imagine having an adult openly label me as a problem. Anyways, the “problem” kids are overweight, special needs kids and he didn’t much care what I did with them so long as they were not bothering him. One was rolling on the floor saying he didn’t want to play. He even tried to run away with the bag of basketballs. I can’t teach a kid who doesn’t want to play in the first place so I turned my attention to Percy. Percy doesn’t speak much. He reacts to everything slowly. When you talk with him, there is a delay in his response, for example. The coach doesn’t like that he refuses to wear a practice jersey. I don’t blame him. The jerseys are tiny kids’ sizes and this is a Big Boy. I don’t think they would fit him. Who cares anyway?

I worked with him on shooting for a bit. His ADHD kicks in sometimes and he needs reminders to stay on task. Otherwise, he is a good kid. The coach started a scrimmage between the blue and white team, Percy being on the blue team.  Percy was told he had to sit out because according to the coach he didn’t know the defense (a 2-3 zone). The coach had never bothered to teach him. I sat down beside Percy and explained to him that he was going to be subbed in for the middle back row. I told him that he had to stand tall and not let anyone shoot “in his house.”  He thought that was funny and the line “Not in MY house!” became a frequent joke between us.

I couldn’t help but grin as Percy was subbed in and played the best defense on the floor. Not only that, but he found his boost of confidence and became the leading scorer. Watching him steal the ball from the coach’s favorite player was pretty fun to see, and it happened frequently.  All Percy needed was direction and encouragement. He just needed someone to tell him that he could do it.

Meanwhile, the coach thought I had magical powers. He invited me back every practice to work with all the kids. Last night was open practice. The entire community came to watch the kids do drills and then scrimmage. The coach asked me to be there and help keep the “problem kids” in line, being that they would surely act out in front of their parents. I agreed.

The stands were full of parents and community members who had nothing better to do. Even the military people were there. I started off helping the “problem kids” stay on task. Some of them needed it but they were trying very hard. Not even these kids wanted to embarrass themselves in front of the parents and elders. When the scrimmage started , this time the coach made Percy a started. He started off shy for the first minute and during a break I walked over to him and said. “Percy, you gotta protect your house.” He giggled and said, “Not in MYYY House!!” then the community watched as Percy came to life. What a fun experience. It was great working with the other kids too. So many of them lack real skills right now, layups, dribbling without picking up the ball, etc. I worked with a few and feel that I was able to teach them something. I hope anyways.

Today, as I said, is my last day here. Right after school we will be taken by snow machine to the dirt runway again. The Era plane will pick us up and we will be taken to Nome where we’ll have four hours to kill before our next flight. I heard there is a nice pizza place there. Maybe we’ll head there for dinner. After the wait, we leave for Anchorage. The Nome and Anchorage flights were very bumpy on the way in, almost scary. I’m a little nervous but Emily and Liz will be waiting at a hotel in Anchorage where I'll over night it before flying to Juneau tomorrow morning.

Overall, this has been a great experience. I’m so happy I did it and although I don’t plan on teaching in the “bush,” I feel that I could do it if I really wanted too. Right now, I’m anxious to get back to my own bed! It may seem weird but I’m so excited to be to sleep in a bed again! 

 (Two girls crash my "bed" after basketball)

“Exploration is really the essence of the human spirit.”

It’s been an interesting past week. Let me start with the job fair. I went into the Anchorage job fair not expecting much. I knew that I wanted a position on the east coast and was simply hoping to land some interviews simply to get some experience at the interviewing process. I started out at the job fair completely overwhelmed. There were so many people and school districts. It was very competitive. Luckily, my roommate jumped right in and forced me to jump in with her. At lunch time I had not had a single interview. My peers had interviews from the beginning. Of course, I was frustrated by this but it didn’t take long after lunch to get some interviews going. The interviews went too! I was surprised to hear the interviewers compliment me after each interview. I feel that this school has really prepared me for this process. I ended up being offered two jobs, Point Hope and Savoonga Alaska. Just last night I received and email offering me a spot in St. Michaels. I feel blessed that the schools are interested in me but these are very remote and…not located in the lower 48.

Sunday, after two days of the job fair, I left Anchorage and landed in Nome, Alaska. This was just a small stop on the way to White Mountain. WM is located about 3 degrees below the Arctic Circle and has about 200 people, Inupiaq (Eskimo), Yupik, and Athabascan. I’m sleeping in the school for the week and observing the life style here.

It was a great first day in White Mountain.  I was picked up from the dirt road that the plane landed on by snow machines (snowgoes as they call them here). Those of us arriving hopped on the sleds and enjoyed the ride into own. We settled in quickly at the school and even attended church Sunday evening. The people here are very nice.

Yesterday I observed several small classrooms and then ventured out into the village. Some fishermen brought back four seals to share with the elders and villagers. This is common. They often bring back their catch, take what they want, and leave the rest on the shoreline, by the water. Then everyone in the community can pick off what they want and take it home. That was cool to see. Our white culture is so self-centered compared to villages like this one. The ground is still very much covered in about 4 feet deep, compacted snow. When we arrived back at the school several kids and families were enjoying the snow, sledding and snowmachining. Another student hit up the village store and brought back a bag of jelly, an orange, peanut butter, and a frozen cheeseburger for 50 bucks. I’m glad I brought my own food along!

This morning I hiked up the local mountain that the town is named for…White Mountain. I reached the top just as the sun was rising. It was gorgeous. The principal said that foxes were running wild on the mountain about 5 minutes prior to me heading up there. I’m sad I missed it but the view was amazing. You can see for miles and miles. There is nothing around but the tiny village and miles of snow, mountains and trees.

Overall, the trip is going well. It’s hard not to get bored after all the kids and teachers leave for the evening. Sports are what keep this town active but the gym is being occupied by visiting military. It’s off limits in the evening to everyone but the military. So, I’ve been spending time on the slowwww internet and reading books until I fall asleep. The sun is currently rising at about 6:30 am and setting completely at about 11:30 pm or after. Not long before this village is lit up 24/7.

That’s A Wrap, Folks.

(Glacier Valley Elementary, The school that has been soo good to me!)

I started my student teaching in August, a complete mess. Two weeks before school was to start I received a simple email from my host teacher stating her mother had cancer, wasn’t do well and she would be leaving her job at the school. That left me with no host teacher. My advisor ran from school to school promoting me as the best dang student in the program just to get a teacher to meet with me. Soon, I had a few options. 

After meeting with a 1^st grade teacher, I was scared to death. 1^st graders aren’t really my style. I mean, I just don’t think I can walk kids to the bathroom, wipe their noses and sound out three letter words all day. I met with the second teacher the same day. From what I remember she was intense and seemingly ADHD. She moved around the room while talking in a stern voice. Then she put me to work in the class before I had even accepted her offer to host me. Needless to say, again I was slightly scared. Knowing that I wanted to be in a 4^th and 5^th grade class, I went right along with the woman helping her set up the class, cutting and taping hundreds of strips of paper (we never used), moving desks, and hanging tons of posters. I knew within the first few days that this was not going to be an easy student teaching experience. While other students were handed ready-made units, I was forced to create mine entirely from scratch. This was obviously frustrating at the time but now I am so proud of that 115 page unit. She let my terrible math lessons bomb, told me they sucked, and then gave me the time to figure out how to teach math in my own funky and successful way. She was there to answer my questions but never to hold my hand and walk me through the experience. I am thankful that I had such an intense host teacher. She made my student teaching experience challenging, rigorous, and SO meaningful! I can honestly say that I have learned something every day I have been in her classroom and that is truly rare. 

In time we both loosened up a bit. One day was a remarkably terrible day for me. I was startled awake in the middle of the night by a partying roommate. This was nothing new. However, I had hit my max and being that I was completely exhausted from the lack of sleep, I was not in a good mood. When I reached the school that following morning I could not get anything to copy on our old copier. It kept jamming up and no amount of cursing or kicking would help it. Eventually I gave up and headed back to the classroom. I ran into one of my male students crying in the hallway. He said that his mother had beaten him with a book because of his bad behavior report (which I gave him). When I finally made it into the classroom I was so mad at the world that I was practically throwing things. I think that was the day that my host teacher decided she liked me. She ran next door to tell her best friend and team teacher about my fury and how I was finally showing some emotion. I started to realize that she takes a lot of time to process and doesn’t laugh at jokes because she doesn’t get them right away. I realized that her lack of positive feedback doesn’t mean that she isn’t impressed. She just forgets to take the time to tell me. Over spring break I was her house and dog sitter and I know she would never ask me if she didn’t hold me in the highest regard. We can now have meaningful conversations as well as roll around on the ground laughing moments.

Today was my last day in charge of the class. Time passed so quickly and I became much more attached to the kids than I thought I would. At the end of the day I stood in front of the class and handed my host a pile of cards. Each card was decorated by a kid and had a poem on it about my host. This was my way of saying “Thank You!” She loved it, which made me very happy. Then, unexpectedly, she turned the whole thing around and told the class the story I am telling you now. She started with my previous host teacher quitting and ended with how thankful she is to have me in the class.

I think that this year has shown me that you can never expect the unexpected. However, great things can come from situations you never thought you would be in or from people you never would have chosen as a mentor. I’m grateful and blessed to live in such a beautiful location, attend such an amazing school and to have learned from one of the best teachers I have ever known. 

 

This year I have learned:

Every kid judges every book by its cover (literally) and so do most adults.

Parent teacher conferences are really family therapy sessions (where I play the psychologist).

When I’m excited, my students are excited and it doesn’t matter what the topic is.

Kids really do say the funniest things! (Refer back to boy’s comment about the girdle)

Often, the quietest kids are the ones who need to tell you the most important things.

Sometimes an extra recess is necessary.

The core of classroom management is the “teacher eye” AKA the "evil eye."

It’s okay to jump in and line dance with kids in gym class.

Every kid in the class will appear adorable at the beginning of the year. Don’t be fooled.

Parents who beat their children will do it whether or not I send home a poor behavior report.

Questions I’ve received lately from the kids:

Why do we have belly buttons?

What are Lady Gaga’s credentials?

Can we hang up leprechaun traps?

Did you grow up doing the Hustle?

Is it really possible to get cancer from pop?

What’s the scar on your chest from? (My Answers: Close encounter in a dark alley; Knife wound; Shot at close range; bear attack; fell while running with scissors.)

Where did you learn to dance like that?

Have you ever fought in a world war? How old are you anyway?

Spring Break Baby

This spring break I am house sitting and dog sitting. I can't really go anywhere because I have so much work to get finished so I thought that I would take my host teacher up on the opportunity to get away from my own house and watch her dog. I'm excited.
During this time I will be working on:

Two classes of homework
Classroom management plan paper
Teacher Work Sample paper
Finishing unit lesson plans
Putting together my portfolio
Adjusting my resume and applying for more jobs

I'm sure I'm forgetting something but I'll figure it out eventually!
It's going to be a busy but great spring break!

After spring break I have only one more week of take over time, student teaching. Then I have to return the class back to my host teacher. It's gone by quickly and I'm ready for my own classroom now. 

It's not about how many times you fall, but rather how many times you get up.

(Today's Agenda)

I had an anonymous comment on my last post that fits well with this post. It stated:  “… life is a journey of twist and turns that mold who we are; however, it is not the twist and turns which mold us, but rather, how we take and handle the twist and turns thrown at us. It was not until life threw me flat on my face that I truly discovered who I am and what I am. I am a perpetual work-in-progress. And you know what? I am quite all right with progress........” (Thank you anon)

What a great comment! Isn’t that the truth though? A few years ago (seems like yesterday) life threw me for a few loops. I landed flat on my face, was confused, angry, hurt and completely alone. It took me a while to get back up from that wipeout but after a long and understanding conversation with my mom just last weekend, I feel as if I can stand up, dust myself off, and finally live my life! It may be two years later but the point is that I got up. What an amazing weight off the shoulders!

The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster, to say the least, in the classroom. Two weeks ago I began introducing fractions to the kids. This is a completely foreign concept to them and I found it difficult to teach. Math is not a subject that I ever struggled in so I had no idea how to teach such a crucial topic to struggling students. At the same time, my evaluations were beginning. I felt like a crappy teacher all around and student blow-ups only made the issue worse.

However, this week I have had the kids doing a lot of group work and repetition, working with manipulatives and grouping objects. It has made such a difference. The concept seems much easier to grasp for the students now and I feel good about this past week. It’s hard for me to be a good teacher when my confidence is waning.

Otherwise, the weeks have been the same as the previous take over weeks. I have had ample behavior issues in the class but have managed to avoid any major explosions from particular students. It’s exhausting putting out fires all day but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Today my host class and our team teacher’s class took a field trip to Eaglecrest. It’s a ski resort, for those who don’t know, and man was it an amazing experience! I have never been skiing so I was learning right along with the students. At one point I did the Chinese splits and will probably be stuck in bed all day tomorrow because of it. Haha. Luckily, an adorable student came to the rescue. By the end of the day I was feeling pretty confident in my ability, as were the kids. We got in several runs! The hardest part of the day was probably getting off the chair lift. My roommate and I both did fine! We were worried we would attempt to get off and would roll over each other, which could easily have happened and man what a display it would have been for the students behind us. Which reminds me, the second hardest part of the day was trying not to curse in front of the kids! Hahaha At the end of the day we all met in the lodge, returned our gear, and prepared to head back to school, returning with only 10 min left in the day. You know it’s a successful day when 1. Students pass out on the bus and 2. All students made it back alive.

After the end of the day bell rang, I noticed a student seemingly having a blow up. These start with him throwing his head down on the desk and refusing to move. I walked over to the boy and proceeded to ask what was bothering him. No answer. I asked him if something happened on the bus ride. No reply (very common). I moved closer and told him it was time to go and that if he didn’t leave I would have to go get help to remove him (also common). However, when I placed a hand on his back he jumped up, his face red and eyes nearly shut. He had passed out for the last ten minutes of class! So there I was having a conversation with a sleeping boy. Lol. Too funny.

Anyways, I guess the point of this post is that I am feeling confident and successful in my ability to teach. I’m doing great over all, placing applications all throughout Georgia. I also found out that I will be sent to a small town outside of Nome, Alaska for my rural practicum. This is a short week-long visit in a “bush” school where we learn how students in these regions live and attend school. By the way, Nome is where the Iditarod (sled dog) race ends. I’m pretty excited about it!

This weekend will consist of a little school work, a few beers and some socializing (not mixed, of course!)

“Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.”

It's okay not to be okay...

Well, week two at the helm of class has just finished and it was a crazy ride. Imagine being trapped in a room with thirty hyperactive monkeys. Yes, that is exactly what my week was like. Valentine’s Day was on Tuesday and all the kids were hyped up on candy all week. My class turned into a freak show. Kids were acting weird. The boys were really emotional and several broke out in tears. The girls were really bitchy and hateful. They were all picking at each all week. It wasn’t all mean behavior though. At times, they were hopping over chairs and attacking each other with paper made light-sabers. When given an inch they took a mile. Because of this, I had to play the mean teacher all week. There was very little wiggle room for my nice side to show.

Monday, before Valentine’s Day, we did have a bit of fun. I showed the kids an animated video that I made. Then they were given missions and had to work in pairs to answer questions and place landmarks on the class map of Alaska. They thought it was really fun and they loved the animated video! It was a success. However, the rest of the week was a struggle. I had one kid punch and kick the bookshelf because he didn’t like an assignment. He was sent to the office to cool down. The following day he was in a wonderful mood. Unfortunately, when he is in a good mood he is almost harder to handle than when he is in a terrible mood. His good moods consist of cracking jokes constantly, impulsivity and the need to interrupt everything I say in class. He couldn’t sit still and he couldn’t help from throwing things at peers across the room, tapping things constantly on his desk, and veering the entire class off topic whenever he could. I have moments where I just want him to be taken out of my class. Then, I see him after school pacing the playground, alone, in large circles and whispering to himself. I know that there is more going on inside this kid’s head than anyone knows. All we can do at school is manage him the best we can and try our best to help. He has actually made a lot of progress since last year. This is a kid who once refused to use his hands for two years! Now, he is writing and typing creative stories. That’s progress! I’m learning a great deal from him as well!

 (Watching Animation)

 (Working Together on Mapping Mission)

 (Kids did all this alone!)

(Finished Product taped down)

On to my life, I know I rarely talk about what’s happening outside of the classroom anymore. That’s because I am rarely outside of the classroom in general! Elementary school> home>Homework>college courses>Bed>Repeat.

This week is a bit different though. Today is President’s Day, tomorrow and Wednesday are parent teacher conferences. This means that, besides meeting with parents, I have two more days left until I have to teach again. That’s great! I have time to get caught up and get lesson plans set! Yesterday a fellow student teacher invited me to go on a hike with her. We took her dog up a trail. It was cold but I had a good time and we got to vent about our program and students and such. Ha Ha. While it was really fun, I’m not feeling the best today. Throat is sore, running nose, coughing, not much of a voice. This is not the most opportune time to get sick so I’m popping vitamin C like M&Ms.

Overall, I’m hanging tough. Daylight is growing with each day. That makes spring seem closer. However, looking out the window right now I see rain/snow/sleet mix crap that reminds me that winter has her nails dug in deep and will not go without a fight. It’s weird that I loved this weather when I first moved here. I loved the snow and the rain. Now, I’m worn down and ready for a change. The dark and cold winters cause everyone to walk around like depressed zombies. I have learned that the best way to fight depression in winter is to get out in the terrible weather. That is what I am doing right now! I’m bundling up and heading to the used bookstore to meet a friend. Then I have to return home for an evening college course.

Until next time…