Last Sunday I went to church in a great mood and left a little puzzled and a bit frustrated. We started with some singing and music, as always. It's probably my favorite part of church because I have always felt that God speaks more to me through music than anything else (given my musical background). Then the pastor stepped up to do his sermon. Now, I really like this guy. He is from Missouri and Baptist, though the church is non-denominational. BUT most of the sermon was about who does what in the church. What should the church look like...What are elders...what are deacons...etc.
This bothered me at first because I was there to worship. I was there to learn about myself and better understand my life. I was not there to learn about the politics of the church. I understand it is necessary. I get that the church has to run like a business sometimes. However, I don't think that the sermon should be about this. Maybe this could be discussed at a different, set time with those who are very interested in it. I was there to worship, to pray, to get grounded again.
Then the pastor started talking about why only men are allowed to hold such high positions in the church. He quoted from 1 Timothy as I followed along in my Bible. He read about how women should be submissive and quiet to men. They are not meant to be leaders. They are not meant to teach. This is because Eve ate the apple. The Bible goes on to say that women can be redeemed from this original sin through childbirth.
(I thought: Well crap. I should probably get right on that then. I've been living a life of un-repented sin because I have yet to have children!)
I wanted to raise my hand and ask if this was just cultural. How does this pertain to the world we live in today? There are many scriptures that show people in this time period doing things that we wouldn't do in today's world. I didn't have to raise my hand because he went on to tell everyone that this is not a cultural scripture. This is the way it has to be.
Red flags immediately went crazy in my head. It felt so wrong. I wasn't sure if it was the feminist in me...which was halfway out the door with her tail between her legs... or the fact that I have always felt like a leader. In school it was sports and organizations. I remember some of my coaches saying I was an extension of the coach on the court in both basketball and volleyball. It came naturally. I was president of Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I entered college wanting to be an anesthetist originally. Now I am in the field of education and want to coach. I was vice president of the Student Alumni Association. I don't see myself staying an elementary teacher for too long. I would like to go on to get my masters at least, either in administration or special education. If this isn't a cultural text, that means that it is supposed to be relevant to my life. It also means that I have to rethink everything I have ever wanted. Everything I have ever dream of.
I posted something on facebook about how frustrating the text was. How I don't like the idea of being this quiet housewife who just follows everything her husband wants. Do I even want a husband? *Put down the toilet seat!* Several people responded about how when you have the right God-loving man, everything makes sense. It's easy to be submissive when your husband is so close with God.
It's still hard to digest...
God works in funny ways. This past week, after hearing this sermon, I have had some free time to think and read. I also went to watch the Vagina Monologues. This is a play that focuses on empowering women around the world. It's all about telling women to stand up and fight for what you want and don't want. It's based on true stories and facts about abuse, rape, bullying, cancer, love and loss...to name a few.
This is Eve Ensler performing one of the many monologues.
First of all, I found myself coming to terms with the fact that I disagree with the pastor on this subject. Second, I picked up a book by Eve Ensler called "I Am An Emotional Creature." Eve Ensler also wrote the Vagina Monologues. However, this book is written for and about teenage girls all around the world. It talks about the fears girls have and the pressure that society places on them in many different countries and cultures. It's eye opening. Some of the facts throughout the book are startling. It talks about these young girls as sex slaves (yes, in other countries but also in the USA). It talks about teenage pregnancies and STDs. It also talks about genital mutilation. In some countries their religion tells them that genital mutilation is a good thing because women are not supposed to feel pleasure. These are countries where women are expected to be submissive and quiet to their husbands.
I think and FEEL that God agrees with me on this subject. When this text was written, this was a cultural norm. Some of the nations most influential evangelical leaders are women. Would God want it any other way? Would God want me to marry now, have kids and become a housewife?
Why would he have given me dreams and ambition? A brain?!
I am a Scorpio. I am a strong "power female." I am a feminist. I am who I am and I believe in the bottom of my heart that God wants everyone to live to their full potential, not just men.
(For how many years did whites use the Bible to defend slavery? ...Cultural relativity...)
