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When the waves are flooding the shore, when I can't find my way home anymore...

This week has about done me in. I am physically and emotionally exhausted and if I hear the word homework one more time think I might die. Today was not too bad though. I had class this morning until 10:10am. Ah my biology class. In this mornings class I could not tell you what we covered because I was so distracted. The girl next to me was putting makeup on the whole class while the girl a few seats down kept running in and out of the room to answer her cell phone. Across the room was this hilarious girl. She was in "the zone" staring off so hard that I thought her eyeballs might actually roll down her face and onto her notebook. Maybe she was asleep. I don't know.
So after that I took a little drive out the road. I have found that sometimes all that is needed to make a day better is some alone time in a car full of music. I love and miss music so much. It is probably one of the only things I loved about high school was the musical opportunities. Anyways, I took a drive jamming out to my iPod until the road turned to ice. It was crazy because it almost felt like a flat tire or something. The car was so hard to control but I managed to pull over just fine and turn around. From there I went to the Mendenhall Glacier and relaxed for a while. It was gorgeous today. And then it was onward to the store where I splurged a little since my financial aid money finally came through. Then returning home, I unpacked all I bought and settled on the couch to look over my Student Exchange application. I filled the entire form out but was having the hardest time deciding what schools I was interested in and in which order I wanted to place them on the application. I figured it out though and turned it in. Finished...Done...I guess it's all up to fate now.
So to get my mind off everything, tonight I invited a friend out. He just got back from South America and we haven't had much time to catch up yet. Hopefully that will work out but I haven't heard back from him yet.
I think that's all I have for now. Back to the, dare I say, homework! sigh.
♥ Melissa

New year, New classes, New roommates, new, new, new, new

One week of the semester down and somehow it just feels like a continuation from last year. Not much has changed, besides the furniture in our apts, which I have to admit isn't the worst I have seen. I have actually been sitting on the couch watching movies and doing homework all weekend. It's kinda comfortable.
So classes are underway and I feel pretty good about them. The homework doesn't seem outrageous. I have been sending out emails to random teachers trying to get into a classroom for my practicum. If I don't get into one then I can't be in the class. Fun right? I have to admit I am getting excited to get back in the classroom. I miss being around the kids. When I was substitute teaching I found myself really loving it (as long as I wasn't at the high school. lol). So anyways, I have been sitting around the house writing emails out to every 4th and 5th grade teacher I can find. It has been a bit stressful. So, I put in Home Improvement. That show always makes me feel good about my life. haha. I am not nearly as messed up as the people on there.
Also, I am learning about the sky and the universe in my Astronomy class. It is very interesting right now. I love looking up at the sky, well, when it is clear enough which it rarely is. Every once in a while the night sky is completely clear and SO gorgeous. A few nights ago the moon was SO huge and looked so close! It was gorgeous and last night the moon had this brilliant ring around it. This astronomy class has been teaching us about the creation of the world and how everything evolved. While I am not sure about all that, it is very interesting. It really makes you think about how the moon really was placed where it is now. Did you know that the moon is moving farther away from the Earth every year. We know this because when we landed on the moon we placed some devices up there that help us measure. (So don't ever let anyone tell you that we never landed on the moon.) Or what about the fact that some stars and galaxy's are so far away that it takes years (sometimes millions or billions of years) for the light from them to travel to us. That's kind of cool. Or what about... IF the sun is the size of a grapefruit THEN Earth is the size of a ballpoint pen. Seems crazy when you think of it like that. I think the class also proves that we, or the majority of us humans, are quite naive.
So yeah, classes have started and I am running around like crazy trying to get things together, books, homework, etc. Meanwhile, I am trying to be open to the idea of global warming (vs climate change) and even Evolution. This should be a fun semester!

♥ Melissa

Fearless

Brother Brad spoke about living a fearless life yesterday. Living in faith and not fear. Living by faith and not by sight.
It was a great sermon and very to the point but I was trying to figure out what it means in MY life. How can I interpret this to help me and my walk?
We all walk in fear at some point in our lives. Whether we are afraid of loving and loosing or just change in general, it is something we have all had to deal with. I guess I have always had issues with change. I'm not really sure why. It's not like I have lived in the same house all my life, or even in the same town. Alaska has helped with this. I know that my family is probably sick of me bringing up AK and my AK friends all the time but it has been my life for the past year. Moving to Juneau was a decision I made on my own and in my own faith. A leap of Faith for sure made out of solitude and prayer. And I have been so happy and learned so many things. This is a leap that proved to be well worth the risk.
However, now I am thinking ahead, trying to figure out my future. I am okay with not having a plan at the moment but I would like to have some idea of where I will be headed. The rest will work itself out eventually. This has been bothering me for a while now. A little bit of fear in the way, I suppose. I have thought of several states, several schools, to look into. I have thought of going right back into school concerning my next interest. I have thought many things but am not sure that I am ready to commit to anything. I guess I am just praying for a lead since the last leap worked out so well. I am hoping that the next journey I am taken on is one that teaches me just as much and allows me to have this much fun again.
So for now, I will be living each moment and each day as fearless as possible until I am shown my next adventure.

♥ Melissa

Those In Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones.

Just a few days ago a group of five people were caught in a house fire and all died. They were made up of two adults, two 11 year olds and a baby. This was in a nearby town. A man by the name of Fred Phelps, who calls himself a Baptist Rev., feels the need to show his face in this community to protest the funeral. Why, you may ask? Why would anyone protest this? Their website shows what kind of people do this: Www.godhatesfags.com/schedule.html

These people claim to be protesting this funeral because the baby was born out of wedlock. Acording to them God was punishing the family and the baby deserved to die. Look at their website and see how cruel they are. Are not their sins just as bad as those of this family. This is the same group from Kansas that has been protesting military funerals, homosexuals, and anyone that they feel is not worthy to be loved by God. (I am guessing they are KU fans, which would explain a lot, jk). This frustrates me to no end. I am a Christian, Baptist, and I have been made fun of my entire life because of my beliefs. I would never ever do any thing like these people are doing. They need to be reminded that they too have sinned and fallen short of God's glory. Calling names like "Fags" "Whores" "Sluts" etc, which they write ALL over their website, is in no way what Jesus would do. What would Billy Graham say about this? Graham is a man who has lived a life for God and helped bring thousands of people to God. This is the right way to help people. Judging, Name calling, Protesting Funerals, Jumping for joy at any sight of pain others face. It saddens me to a religious group forcing so much pain on others.

"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw the stone at her."

WBC you can twist the worlds of the Bible and follow your leader blindly, but remember what has happened to other religious groups that have followed their leader, instead of following God. Hmm....Jim Jones ring a bell? What about Warren Jeffs?

How long before one of these WBC members, or the Rev hurts someone. It seems they have such a hatred and wish pain on so many but themselves. How long until they act upon their hatred?

I sure hope it never comes to that but the world we live in today can be pretty dang crazy.

-Melissa

*Jumps down off her soapbox*

Sorry for the venting but I had to get it off my chest before bed.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (a little late)

Christmas came and went so fast this year. Usually it is long and stressful but not this time. Everyone seemed to be working together to make it as smooth as possible and I am so thankful for that! Unfortunately, right around Christmas my Great Grandma started having health issues. They thought she had Pneumonia at first, which can be deadly for a 94 year old. However, she has a weak valve in her heart which is allowing her lungs to fill with liquid. This could happen at any time so we are keeping her in our prayers. She has told us she is ready whenever the Lord wants her. It is great to have such a strong Christian woman as a role model. She will be 95 next week. I am glad that I will be in town to celebrate this with her and the family.

I wrote last entry that we had pictures taken. Here is the huge family picture which will be at least a few years before we can do it again:

I was lucky to meet with Brook and Popa, my two best friends from UCM. We met at the Mexican restaurant and caught up. I don't think I have laughed so hard in years. We decided that we are the type of friends that no matter how long we have been apart, we can come back and continue right where we left off. After we ate, I rode with Brook to take Popa home to KC. We jammed out in the car and shared memories from freshman year. Brook remembered the time that I finally stood up for myself and ended up getting the cops called to my room (who thought it was all a joke). Sarah added how she and brook hacked into the girl who called the cops' Facebook and changed everything on it to get back at her. Oh they are still just as ornery as ever. I could always count on them to have my back no matter what. Brook is getting married in August which I have promised to be in attendance. I am so excited for her. And then next summer we are taking a road trip to the east coast. That is the plan for now and I am hoping it stays the same. If I had to choose anyone to do a road trip with, it would be these two. Popa grabbed at pic of me and brook with her phone:
Ah, such good times.

I rang in the New Year with my Mom, Debbie, Kinsey, Nathan and Amanda. We had a good time watching The Proposal and the various performances on TV. It was a good time. Ringing in the New Year means one thing, no more vacation. Now, everyone is back to work. School starts back up tomorrow for the local school district. I am trying to figure out how to spend the next few weeks, besides sleeping in and forcing myself to work out. I guess I will catch up on some reading, as the thought of sitting in front of the TV all day makes me sick.
Okay, I'm off to work out! Ah New Years Resolutions! Who said they are just made to be broken? Not ME!

♥ Melissa

On January 6th I will have been in Alaska for a whole year now. That's crazy, right? Did this past year really fly by as fast as I think it did?