Perhaps they are not stars...

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”-Eskimo Proverb


A lot has happened over the past few weeks. I was thinking today about how I needed to get on and post an update. My life has been crazy with school and moving and all kinds of stuff that has forced me to push back updating the blog. But now, I have decided to take the time to pause.

My Great Grandma died today. It came unexpected. There have been times over the past few years that we have all prepared for the worst, where her health seemed like it would never get better. Somehow it did. She was a strong woman.So...this caught us all off guard.

Today, she fell at her nursing home and broke her hip. That’s what I was told. They took her to the hospital for surgery and I guess I just underestimated the risks. Now we are grieving…well the family is grieving… back in Missouri and I am here in my new apartment, alone, sad… It seems unreal. Being 4,000 miles away from everything will mess with the mind. I mean, technically I could just tell myself that she is still around and that she will be there for Christmas dinner when I return during winter break.

No…

She is happy now. I know it. This was a woman who was strong. So strong. I think that is why we have such strong women in our family. She was strong in many ways. Just the fact of how long her life was is a testament to how strong she was. She survived two marriages…that’s proof too! Not only that, but she was strong in her faith. If this woman is not in heaven then I’m not sure that anyone else in the world will ever go to heaven. That gives me peace of mind. I know she is happy now because she used to talk about heaven. I know that she is looking down on everyone that she left behind and I know that she is happy…well beyond happy…I know that she is ecstatic. She is not in pain. She can breathe. She can walk without help or a walker. She probably has a dog that she can feed endless amounts of chicken too.

I like to think that she can visit any place in the world now. I always wanted her to see Alaska but her health was never good enough to fly the long flights up here. I think she would have loved it. She would have enjoyed the bright blue glaciers. She would have loved the ocean and the whales. After all, it is "God’s country" up here. I wanted her to see the Virgin Islands too. During winter time, it is gorgeous weather there. There is a great breeze and you can sit by the water for hours. I thought she would have loved the feel of the sand between her toes and the peaceful sound of waves crashing against the shore.

She is free now. I will think of her that way. Free to do whatever she wants. Wherever I go, I can take her with me.

Where do you want to go next Grandma? I think the mountains of California sound really nice.

"Love is friendship set on fire."-Jeremy Taylor

Just a quick little update while I'm thinking about it.

It seems like I am constantly on my computer these days, typing away at papers, reflections, and lesson plans. When I actually get a break, it's nice to pull out a book so my eyes aren't staring at a screen all evening. Unfortunately, that leaves me little time or energy to keep my blog updated. So here I am:

It has been an eventful week. My week started with classes and papers, of course. Then I was in the elementary school Wednesday. I am now taking over a lot of class time. I run the morning, take attendance, introduce Math, take the kids to lunch and specials, pick them up from recess and settle them into snack time. I also do geography mini lessons and sometimes lead read aloud time. Then, for my classes, I have to reflect on all this.
This week and next week the students have swim lessons. It's great because this is a time where I am completely alone with the students. No host teacher to back me up or step in if the students riot against me. So far it is going well. I enjoy watching them learn to swim. It's actually very comical. The other teachers and I sit on benches near to pool and keep an eye on our students, while chatting. It's nice bonding time that we wouldn't get elsewhere because we all have busy lives. Then when the lessons are over, we rush the kids through the locker rooms and onto the bus again.
I think my host teacher is trying to get me used to being in charge for the entire day. This is something that the students have to get used to as well. My host teacher and I have similar expectations but sometimes I feel that I am much tougher on the students than she is. However, they try to push me more than they push her.
Anyways, this week I had students in class help me redecorate the wall outside of our room. We needed to change the color of the leaves on our tree to make it more fall like. They also wanted me to add a spider web and spider along with a "scary black cat." Here is how it ended up:
Now, it's the weekend and I'm swamped with papers, readings, journals, and there's always something I'm forgetting. Friday I came home from school and crashed. It's exhausting some days. Saturday morning around 3:00AM I have an unwanted surprise. I woke up with the sound of my bedroom door opening. There was silhouette of someone in the doorway and my fight or flight instincts kicked in right away. It was a completely wasted college girl in the wrong house, wrong bedroom and she refused to leave. I sat up in bed thinking to myself that "this WOULD happen to ME!" Why oh why did I forget to lock my bedroom door? The girl laid down on my floor and took off her shoes. After a bit of coaxing and finally some yelling, I got the girl out of my room. This didn't stop her from trying to enter my other roommates bedrooms. She even started yelling for a friend of hers, thinking that I was the one in the wrong house and her roommates would come prove me wrong. *sigh* I got her downstairs putting on her shoes and as soon as I turned my back she ran up my stairs again and into my bedroom. We played this game for a bit, with me yelling at her and she getting sad, making me feel bad for yelling, and then getting belligerent with me. I called the CA for help because my roommate who has been sick was doped up on NyQuil and slept through the entire thing. While the CAs were on the way, the girl took a seat and rode down my stairs on her butt before telling me she was going to be sick, depositing some loose change and a half smoked rolled cigarette on my counter and then crashing on my couch. Finally, I convinced her to put her shoes on and get some fresh air. I was even going to help her to her own apartment and bedroom, but she couldn't tell me what apartment she lives in. She made it a few steps out my door and then sat on my front porch step. Luckily the CAs showed up and helped her back to her apartment.
I woke up the next day still dumbfounded about the debacle but able to see the humor in it. While telling the story to my roommate we both laughed (and still laugh) about it. However, we are both terrified to leave the doors unlocked again, unsure of who might possibly stumble in. This trespasser was smaller than me and could easily have been taken down if needed. The next one may not be....I may have dodged a bullet here.

Moving on, today I took a trip to my elementary school just to get out of the house. I took my computer and my books with me and got some work done. I still have a long way to go but at least it's progress. Tomorrow and Tuesday I have been excused from my classes. Juneau is having it's state wide literacy conference and my host teacher is adamant that I be there. SO, I'm going to go listen to lots of speakers talk about literacy. I've heard great things about it, so who knows, it could be fun. Either way, this takes away two days that I generally work on homework. I guess that means I better get busy now!

"The problem is that most schools don't like great teachers. They're organised to stamp them out and make them average."

It has been a crazy and wild week. I have been so busy writing lesson plans and trying to keep up with school that I think I might be going a little nuts. I have been having a blast though. It seems like Fridays are always tough because the kids are so wound up but they end so well, with the kids leaving and getting great feedback from my host teacher. The weekends aren't the most fun for me. They are full of homework. Literally I have a schedule of what work is done on Saturdays and what is done on Sundays. It's getting better though. None of the work is actually due until Monday evening and I am starting to get my routine down.

What's new with me? Well, let's see. I woke up this past Sunday with hives on my face. It is Saturday, almost a week of Benadryl later, and my face is finally starting to clear up. Also this past week, I prepared and delivered my first lesson plan. I taught the kids about the water cycle and then we did an experiment where we took 2L bottles and made our own water cycle models. At first I thought that the lesson didn't go so well. The students didn't know nearly as much as I assumed that they would know. However, my host teacher seemed thrilled with the lesson and was still able to give me some great feedback and suggestions. Monday I am returning to the classroom to finish the experiment and collect my evaluation form from my host teacher. I'm not too worried about it.

What else, what else. Well, Era is over now. The season ended last weekend and I was able to have my last dinner with the gang at the Hangar before saying some tough goodbyes. I have to admit that my life is much less stressful now that I have time to do my homework on the weekends.
Welp, it's October and the snowline is slowly starting to accumulate and drop on these nearby mountain tops. I'm just hoping we make it past Halloween before we get our first snow fall. (Did I mention that it hailed a few days ago? Better that than snow!) I'm already getting my Halloween costume in line for the students! It's exciting!