"You can cry about it, or you can DANCE about it!"

So, I've missed a few months on here. What can I say? School has kept me busy. Not only school but packing for Alaska and moving out of my cozy apartment. Emma, the pup, is adjusting really well. I'm sure she adjusts to things like this better than most people. I know she certainly adjusts better than I do.
Anyways, it's now midterm of the last quarter and the students are getting restless. MAP testing starts this Tuesday. We have decorated the halls and are really pumping the kids up about testing. This is the 3rd graders first time seeing this test and they usually struggle on the testing because it's new to them and they are nervous. We don't want them to be nervous. We want them to be fighters and feel confidant that they have done everything they can to prepare.
I as a teacher am nervous. Being a 1st year, this is also my first year administrating the test. So much can go wrong. And what if the kids bomb the test when I KNOW they can do it! I KNOW how smart they are. What if the parents do not get the kids to bed on time and they are sleepy the entire test. What if they don't get breakfast and are hungry all morning, therefor not able to concentrate. What if...What if...
I guess I just have to let it all go. I can't control it at this point.

So that's about where I'm at right now. I have loads of papers to grade before tomorrow morning. I also have to get my plane ticket booked for Alaska this week. Wow time flies!

"I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework." -- Edith Ann

So this Friday is mid-term for the third quarter! I can't believe that there is only a quarter and a half left of my first year teaching. I have to say that it has been an emotional roller-coaster, of course, but the main things that stick out in my mind are the laughs that the entire class has shared. I wanted to make a point this year to be open, funky, fun, strict, fair, and just all those adjectives that make up ME. I wanted to be real. Not some fake perfect teacher who knows all the answers and never makes mistakes. I wanted my students to see me acting like a goof, see me make mistakes and for them to catch them, see me frustrated, to see me showing empathy. That is one area where I have succeeded this year. Because I have been myself, my students have felt more comfortable being who they are. "Yeah, Ms. P can be crazy at times but she knows when to be serious." They then apply this to their own lives. They know when it is appropriate to loosen up a bit and when they have no choice but to crack down. This has also helped us to create a classroom of honesty, fairness, and NO BULLIES. We have not had one bully issue all year. Perhaps it is because my students are so perfect. NOT. It is because my students have learned to respect each other. And when respectful behavior isn't being shown, they feel comfortable reporting it to someone, usually me, and it is handled promptly.

The hardest part of my job has been seeing the heartache my students face outside of class. Kids who are so hungry (God knows when they last ate) that they can't concentrate on a simple addition problem. Students who cook, clean, bathe their siblings, and still manage to get their homework done. Students who have seen more loss in their lives than I can even imagine. And yet, through it all, these kids come to school and try. I wanted my classroom to be a safe haven for them. A place where they can truly leave their worries at the door. Then, and only then, can real learning actually take place.

The year hasn't been perfect. I have had my frustrations. However, I can honestly say that I love teaching. I am at my best when I am in my classroom. That happiness I get in the classroom makes all the frustrations seem small in comparison.